How to Cope with Loneliness During COVID-19

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When I was a second grader there was a folklore story we read called “Stone Soup.”  My teacher told the story of how villagers, estranged and untrusting of one another, came together and experienced unity by contributing their vegetables to make a delicious vegetable soup to share.  More importantly having experienced unity, they felt a common abundance by opening their hearts.  Such story made an impression on me that we are better when we come together and share in time of need.  

The prevention of COVID-19 spreading requires us to do a “different” kind of coming together:  In order to help one another we have to be socially distant—possibly just the opposite response we are used to experiencing which may go against our natural response— especially in crisis:  We are social animals and need each other to survive, and we validate each other to feel safe and protected.  You may be experiencing more of this feeling of isolation if you are separated from your family or if you have been furloughed or laid off from work. 

While villagers came together around the fire in Stone Soup, we may find ourselves gathering around a more modern “campfire” such as Face Time, Zoom, or Google Hangout, but still feel isolated without the social face-to-face interaction and personal contact of a hug, touch or embraced greeting.  Isolation may lead to feelings of loneliness and this can set off feelings of fear or anxiety especially as it is unknown when quarantines will end and cafes will open again.  Conversations with oneself can open internal dialogues with negative narratives of insecurities, fears and flaws. By understanding the symptoms of loneliness before they creep up on us, we can become aware, take action, and seek help.

Symptoms of Loneliness

  • Insomnia

  • Social Withdrawal

  • Being suspicious of others’ intents

  • Unexplainable feelings of hostility or aggression towards others

  • Seeing people as a threat instead of as helpful

  • Mulling over things

  • Ruminating over the past

  • Self-pity

  • Hopelessness

  • Fretting/excessive worry

  • Taking things too much to heart

  • Acting “grumpy”

  • Loss of what was meaningful

  • Feeling a loss of control 

  • Isolating more 

  • Impulsivity

  • Increase in depression

  • Binge eating and/or drinking

  • Decrease in overall health or illness

  • Change in outlook

  • Change in social skills

  • Hyper-awareness of more negative interactions

25 Ideas to Counter Loneliness by Connecting Using Your 5 Senses

After we log-off our Zoom, Face Time or Google Hangout, we may find ourselves feeling lonely without a presence  of others around our modern “campfire.”  While we cannot gather together making a Stone Soup with others now, we can “fool our brains” that we are connecting by using our 5 senses.  Try to engage your senses of sight, smell, hearing, seeing, and tasting with their relation to others peeps in your life.  The sense of smell is directly wired to the olfactory of the brain while other senses require an “extra circuit.”  So try those sensorial experiences that combine scent for a boost:

  • Collage pictures of family or friends and put them in your field of vision

  • Plan a gathering after COVID-19 to look forward to (BBQ anyone?)

  • Call/FT a friend vs. text to hear his/her voice

  • Listen to recordings of people singing (i.e. chorus; bands etc.)

  • Go for a walk and wave to neighbors

  • Cook a healthy family recipe that reminds you of a loved relative

  • Admire a neighbor’s garden and ask for tips in an email

  • Pretend you are dancing with a partner

  • Light luminaries with neighbors in solidarity

  • Eat food you ate on a previous vacation with others-contact them again with pics

  • Wrap yourself in a blanket that was made by a grandparent

  • Cuddle with a stuffed animal—no matter how old you are!  It still registers to your brain…

  • Open windows to hear children’s laughter to decrease feeling enclosed

  • Hold and admire an heirloom and think fond thoughts of everyone who has shared it

  • Create a positive social challenge 

  • Play a music instrument on your front porch for passersby

  • Read a book with friends online

  • Give yourself a “Butterfly hug” (Wrap your arms around each elbow and pat!)

  • Tell yourself a soothing saying that someone said to you in the past—pass it on

  • Draw a mandala sidewalk chalk art for people strolling by (See Instagram #mandalahugs)

  • Hold a cup of warm tea, smell it and drink it slowly remembering sharing it with another

  • Light a scented candle that reminds you of home

  • Wrap yourself in a scarf with a scent of someone you love

  • Put a blanket in a dryer and snuggle in it

  • Sit in the sunlight in a room and meditate on a past summer vacation with friends

I wish you and your family and friends good health during theses times. Be safe and well. If you should need to reach me, I am available for telemental health therapy. Please feel free to contact me at 610.329.1684 for a free 15-minute consultation.